U. S. REDNECK GAMES AND FESTIVAL

It’s a festival whose time and place have finally come.

The U.S. Redneck Games and Festival, a three-day celebration of a lifestyle cherished by many Ashtabula County residents, will be held on a 73-acre former horse farm near the Pennsylvania border this weekend.

“What we want it to be is sort of like a Redneck Woodstock,” says Liz Kohout, who with her husband, John, is organizing the event as a fundraiser for their Place-A-Pet Foundation, an animal rescue group. “People can come out and listen to music, enjoy the beautiful country setting and be very primitive.”

That’s primitive as in pitching a tent in the woods, playing in the mud, skipping the shower (except being hosed down by the fire department after wallowing in the mud), drinking a few beers under the open night sky, eating unhealthy food, leaving the kids at grandma’s and letting nature have its way.

“Make them; don’t bring them,” Kohout says of the children. “Being out there with Mother Nature makes you want to make love. This place is a real stress-reducer.”

The farm, once owned by Larry Mako, includes a 10-acre lake and horse arena. Primitive campsites for tents and pop-up campers will be available around the lake and in the woods. Texas Hold’em games will be held in the arena. Numerous food and beverage vendors will offer a variety of fried, barbecued and sweet food choices; campers are also free to take along their own food — but no alcohol.

The cost is just $10 a day; $25 for three nights of camping — Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Only those 18 and older will be admitted.

“We really love kids, but we don’t want to expose them (to some of the events),” Kohout says.

The Joe Freeman Band will provide bluegrass and country music throughout the three-day festival, which gets under way Friday evening. Most of the competitive events will be held on Saturday and Sunday afternoons, beginning around 1 p.m.

The games will include a wet T-shirt contest (guys will have the opportunity to bid for the honor of spraying the contestants) and a variety of games played in mud pits, including volleyball and tug of war. Contestants can vie for the Biggest Beer Belly title or for sporting the best pair of Daisy Duke cutoff shorts. You can bob for pigs feet or show your form in the mud-pit belly-flop contest.

The games aren’t just for the physically fit and well-endowed, however. The brightest bulbs in the box can enter “Are You Smarter Than a Redneck?” contest.

While it would appear the event is a matter of making money at the expense of a stereotype, Kohout says rednecks take pride in their status. Further, there’s a little bit of a redneck in all of us; it just takes a few hours in a natural setting to draw it out.

“Anybody who goes outside and enjoys the country is a little bit of a redneck,” she says. “I do things here I normally would not do if I was in the city.”

A Euclid resident, Kohout has come to appreciate the redneck lifestyle as a result of relocating the rescue operation to Monroe Township several years ago. The foundation hopes to purchase the secluded property on Hammond Corners Road and use it to house animals.

Kohout wants to share this magnificent place with the public, if only for a weekend, and give them the chance to unwind and have some fun. Think of it as summer camp for adults.

"We need more chances to play," she says. "You live longer if you get to play.  We want people to be kids again."

And spend money.  The games are, first and foremost, a fundraiser for the animals.  The decade-old Place A Pet Foundation is a no-kill operation taht takes in abandoned animals from the greater Cleveland area.  There are close to 100 cats and dogs at the farm.

Kohout has done TV and radio shows about pet ownership issues and worked with Cleveland TV meteorologist and animals advocate Dick Goddard to place animals.  But the foundation's recent history could be material for a sad country song:  It too four years to find a suitable home for the sanctuary after it  was squeezed out of its former Cleveland location.

"When I heard of the Redneck Games out of Georgia, I thought, "That's perfect," Kohout says.

She volunteered at several area festivals to get insights on how to runa  festival and what pitfalls to avoid.  She named the Monroe Township event the "U. S." games to distinguish it from other redneck events in the world.

Kohout has every intention of making it an annual event.  Volunteers have distributed 25,000 fliers about the festival, and it is being advertised in media across northeast Ohio.  The games are online at www.usredneckgames.com.

Advance interest has been strong: One woman called from out of state and wanted to sigh up her mother, who's in her 80s, for the spitting contest, an event Kohout hadn't though of.

Kohout says the strongest interest seems to be coming from those in their 50s and 60s.

"We are the generation of Woodstock people," she says.  "We want to be outside; we love to be outside."

For directions, schedules and information about volunteering, go online (usredneckgames.com)